meanwhile…

has it struck you yet that answers come before questions? That healing begins with illness? And that you can’t have a dream come true without a time when it hasn’t?

shoot, isn’t it all so perfect? everyone, no matter where they are on their journey, can be happy.

tallyho,
The Universe

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Meanwhile…
back at the resurrection
night has turned to day
here I stand amazed
at my own rebirth
dazed and a bit confused
eyes blinking in the morning sun
attempting to adjust
I am completely changed
from my life to death
back to life experience
more than a bit claustrophobic
due to the burial, no doubt
I am no longer sure
if my bank account is active
or my passport still relevant
how will I go on here in the world now?
what will my friends and family do with this who-is-now me?
they who have done with grief
and moved along with life in-between
I am, for sure, no longer the way I used to be
I have, for sure, experienced things they will never understand
I have flown with angels
and seen what lies beyond the Milky Way
I have, for sure, left my fear behind me in that fresh, unmarked grave
I know, for sure, there will be no turning back,
no compromise of this wild and exquisite thing beating within me
this life of mine is mine
this heartbeats miracle will be never forgotten gift
I can only take this first step
away from this boneyard
named and dated final markers
a place I no longer belong
I can only start close in
in silent revelry walking
along this uncharted path
which will only be revealed by my footsteps
I discard my grave clothes
and turn to see the colors of my new self shining
I take a small shaky step
and find the ground holds my weight
I breathe deep
inhale – exhale
soon I will attempt to speak
with my new voice
there is a song being written
which must be sung
a beauty seeking to burst
which will no longer be denied
a love now known
which will never be unknown
I raise my hands and kiss the sky
I bow my knees and kiss the ground
I rise and begin the journey
through the narrow gate
that leads home to LIFE

There are many times I am struck…

with this very strange truth…

IT IS ALMOST ALWAYS….

the best of times…

ampersand-4

the worst of times….

life is this mixed bag…

of bitter / sweet…

in the middle of someone dying…

there is a response of someone being born…

in the middle of the wedding…

someone is filing for divorce…

in the middle of someone convinced they hold all truth…

there is someone doubting all they have been taught…

in the middle of fear…

is where we finally find courage….

I have taken back my own listening
The weeping cherries have cried their last for me this spring
We have eaten cake and shared a toast or two
The dogwoods and lilacs having waited, now bloom just for me
My heart is still full and empty at the same time
Flaming bushes hatch their eggs and throw holy joy into the blue sky
My tears find their way to the ocean, to mingle with their brothers and sisters
Freedom is never free, the cost is always found on the edge of a cruel mans’ sword
I lay on feathers of lost innocence, those naked birds plucked for my dinner
My body, still adjusting to this new age, burns away the old days, realizing this present moment is all I have
What does it mean that I spoke, for a minute, about you, about good hair, you in a suit and tie, aesthetically pleasing to the eye and ear
I wonder what will become of me in these nexts, in these upcomings, in these wild, deep blue yonders
My new friend, Khalid Bin Al Kamaal reminds me,
‘Don’t wander off alone in thought lest you dear feel lost’ – I have not listened to his well-intended advice
I am forever lost to my own thinking, forever making towards the light of my own future, forever stepping into the now of my own footsteps,
forever inhabiting my own self, forever revealing my own hearted purpose for be-ing here, forever knowing myself as I am known
Over and over I find new truth, for better or worse, I am that I am

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2 thoughts on “meanwhile…

  1. Hi Amy,
    It’s so brilliant to see you growing as I too am growing! I know we continue to grow throughout life’s journey but it’s been particularly pronounced in the last year right? I had major epiphanies in January this year and everything changed for me. I sense a similar huge transformation in you. x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I agree, Julian! No accident we met through the Tapping group!! That technique has been such an important thing this past year and is transforming my life! Love to grow with you!!

      Like

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