So many things on my mind this week – Tuesday, January 10, was a huge 5th Anniversary of a milestone event for me. Those dates always bring a lot of reflection and celebration into my week, and change me in certain ways as I move forward from them.

I’ve also had several really interesting and challenging conversations this week. One discussion with someone who believes we cannot change our past, that we can never out grow, out run, or out distance our foundational beginnings. I do not agree. I do agree that it is difficult and there are few people who even attempt it, but I believe we CAN. I’m staking my life on that possibility.


When the sooty corners of our dark night

absorb into porcelain skin at last

leaving it a whole new shade of refined

When the geese in their skeined wedge take another enchanted voyage across the endless blue

When we wake up to this new day 

loving life in spite of all that has gone before

When the one who loves us allows us joy in our exile

until we are ready to break our silent bread

When we allow the challenging heaviness of our limiting beliefs to enter into our arena

wrestling until we have achieved Olympic gold

When we trust the great freedom of what has brought us to this very moment

When the wine of our heart 

in it’s purest burgundy of bubbling merry or deepest sorrow

pours clear and jeweled in its crushing

When we give away freely our best crimson vintage

to everyone we meet at the royal wedding 

and take off our scarlet badges forever more to allow each to live in freedom

When we finally recognize the truth that there is no journey of arriving

there is simply life

this grandest celebration of skin touching skin

the sharing of moments

the wonder of storytelling 

the ancient ancestral linage of our tree-relations  

the wonder of teaching and tasting and exploring 

coffee and kisses and learning any odd/old/new thing with the ones you love

then we have arrived at our true work 

the ‘why’ we have sought desperately to uncover for so long

lying crumpled and useless in the rubbish pile

as we, a bit drunk, on our own exquisite knowing

make love to the world in blissful ecstasy 

shhhh…there are new songs playing 


just listen…

to Dark Star…alive

In this world…

a new dead-head is born

I’m so glad there is you



Another conversation popping around in my head is about the ways we protect ourselves, so much of it, subconscious. These protections, which are needed to protect us during abusive and harmful circumstances, naturally become part of our living. The problem with that is, it can lead us to live way off kilter in every area of our lives. It shows up in our work, in our relationships, in our money, in our way of living and making a living.

Those of us who have had trauma continue to carry those beliefs we adopted at those points in life, and they continue to keep us stuck in patterns we, most of the time, do not want to continue in, as it rarely leads us to the door of freedom and joy!


Photo found on

And so we continue to knock, without realizing we are already on the inside of the door and our freedom depends on us looking within to resolve those things done to us way back then, which will lead us to a new life now.

This past year I have been working on resolving some of these traumas. Things so buried I didn’t even remember them. As I do the work, I am uncovering them one by one. It’s been a difficult, yet truly transformational, process. I am currently use a technique called Tapping (aka EFT/Emotional Freedom Technique) to do this work to break up long held false beliefs, release trauma and, in doing so, releasing myself from the belief that I need a relationship BEFORE I can do my work in the world, Releasing chronic pain from sciatica held in my body for 24+ years and continuing to discover and excavate traumatic incidents from my childhood and adulthood, which is leading me to finally begin to stabilize financially, as well as using my gift of singing after 51 years. It is a miraculous process.


Here are some links to some of the resources I am using, in case you are interested in finding out more about it –


Do you believe we can change our lives? 

Do you believe we can heal our trauma?

Do you believe we can overcome our foundations?

Do you believe we can become who we want to be?

Do you believe we can live in joy and peace?


The dark is as bright as the light

                                                           once you settle into its rhythm 

                                                                                      get to know your other senses so well

you begin to see with your ears

                                                             your skin can see what’s ahead

                                                                                                                                                what’s behind 

the sensations of your breathing

                                                           alert you to danger and angels

                                                                                                                                  open the darkened eyes

to sight beyond vision

                                                       and the darkness falls away

                                                                                        and you are left with an unnatural conclusion

which no one can take from you…

                                                      the dark is as bright as the light

                                                                                                                        seeing is a subjective process

the ground will hold our weight

                                                         we are never abandoned 

we have no control
except to accept and surrender 

     we have no control
except to accept and surrender 

   – Amy Lloyd

I have been blinded by darkness and blinded by light.
What I’ve learned from it is how to adjust my eyes, my mind and my soul so I can see in both.  
                                                                                                                       – Lissette 


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